”We don’t do that,” for example, is not an individualized response. If your school has never had a child like yours (and since your child is an individual, they haven’t), and now they do, and a service is appropriate to his or her needs, then they do do that now. –What is an IEP?, About.com
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What do you do when you make an appointment with an unknown but highly recommended pediatrician to test your son for ADD/ADHD? You attend the appointment. But what if, just what if when that doctor walks into the room you realize that she is that mom from hockey last year who you sort of snubbed because she was really annoying and whiny, and thought every single mom was making eyes at her husband, and is also probably too skinny? Well after you both pretend you are great pals amid squeals of good-to-see-you, you awkwardly tell your story and proceed with the program. Wondering during the entire appointment if you can trust her.
So I answered the questions and most of my answers were yes. Yes, he talks constantly. Yes, he has frequent outbursts (meltdowns). Yes, he consistently has a hard time getting started with any project. Yes, he has a hard time staying focused on anything except drawing or reading for longer than seven minutes. Yes, he gets up and walks around the classroom at inappropriate times (daily). And on and on. Yes, he is gifted. The doctor assigns a questionnaire which I need to complete as well as two versions of the questionnaire for two teachers to complete. Essentially these entail the same questions asked at the appointment. We all turn in our papers and then she adds up the scores and we go from there.
When I brought the paperwork to the Boy’s current teacher she was elated. As if the forms were a hot rock, she filled them out and faxed them back to the pediatrician before lunch that very day. I wish I could say it was because she is just so damn helpful and caring but that is not the case. She feels that my son is complete distraction in her class and wants anything done to fix it. He isn’t violent or abusive. In fact he is described as an “incredibly kind child,” but he can/will not stop talking. The fact is he tries to stop but he says that he just can’t. The same goes for the angry outbursts and the emotional meltdowns. Afterward he says that something comes over him and he can’t stop. So his teacher is excited to get him medicated as soon as possible. Won’t she be surprised if that just isn’t the solution.
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That Baby is now The Boy. The Boy is physically seven old and thinks he is 43. He is ‘gifted.’ His mind is constantly on high and never stops taking in information. He solves problems with a clarity and often times ingenuity I struggle with as an adult. He questions every single thing the teacher teaches and will simply refuse to do anything he feels he has already done. Adults find him easy to talk to because he understands them and sometimes he uses bigger words than they do. His ability to grasp and communicate detail is astounding. When he was five he helped me with Geometry.
The other night bed time was a challenge because everyone is always on the way to death. Always. My second grader wanted to know why we (as a species) even bother since we are always going to die sometime. He threw up his hands and exploded with angry resignation that it is all useless and shortly fell asleep. We have never gone gently into that good night.
My son grasps the concept of black holes and the idea of string theory. He just pointed out the silliness of the statement “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.” Clearly this town is big enough since there are already a thousands of other people here. Pff.
He reads several years above his grade level. His second grade teacher believes that his IQ is off the charts and that he is one of the smartest and brightest children she has ever met. She also believes he has ADHD.
He has difficulty focusing on one thing for longer than 7 minutes, can not stop speaking and has already been labeled an underachiever by a hag questionable teacher who leads the Gifted program at his school. Daily he will get up and take a leisurely stroll to investigate the classroom more thoroughly while the teacher is teaching or other children are speaking, reading, etc. Homework is usually accompanied by a tantrum of epic proportions only to be completed in record time. There is much ado about nothing because his mind is constantly taking in every single thing and can not focus on a single thing.
We are twice exceptional. You would think that would be a good thing.
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