Mommies Paradise

I think Mommies Paradise is the online home for me.  It works. 

Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough-but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal city, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless transformation. –Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I am finding that the changes of the past three years although seemingly monumental in the here and now, are teaching me a new lesson. I am learning to roll with the punches tides. I am discovering an unfamiliar sense of ease when giving in to the flexibility.   I understand that things must happen for a reason.  If there is no reason for the challenges that we face then there is no reason for well, anything really.  I have decided to be like water and just flow.

Which brings me to the discussion of change.

I am not talking about the kind of change that you spend, however that would be an interesting analogy for the karmic tab we keep throughout our life. Change, I have learned, comes in many guises. I am talking about the changes that people go through unwittingly, and the changes that people consciously make.  Let’s face it, everyone changes in some way as the days go by.

Sometimes the more a person changes, the more they stay the same. I have found from a totally non-professional and mathematically challenged poll, geographic change is usually the answer with men.  And the universal theme is a need to be around a society of “better people” than the ones ‘here’, a place where more money can be made (or saved), or simply a place with less people.  It often comes as a thinly veiled threat as in ‘…if everything here doesn’t change we (I) need to leave here.’  There are women out there like this probably, but I haven’t come across them and so I can’t speak for them.

And to the idea that geographic change will make things better, isn’t it true that we make our own reality? I mean, once we move to a new location aren’t we still left with ourselves, our cosmic “change,” and all of our mental baggage? Isn’t the saying true that people are the same all over the world, sometimes they just look different? Shouldn’t the change happen within ourselves first in order to be happy in the present situation?

So with all of that being said I am thinking of moving to a whole new state in order get out of California!  HAHAHA!  I already had to move back to a place that I vowed I would never return. Unfortunately, with the divorce and all, I found it impossible to raise my son well without help.  That help came in the form of my own parent.  Funny how that works.I have got to get out of this place!  Orange County is making me claustrophobic.  As much as I would love to move back to Los Angeles, it just isn’t feasible.  So, I am looking at Colorado!  You know because there are “better” people, and less of them.  Also it is cheaper to rent/buy a home in Front Range Colorado!  Maybe I can finally save some real money.  See what I did there… hypocrisy is funny, folks.

However I am not looking for a home here since they might kick me out or I might firebomb something. Either way, ugly times for sure.