Mommies Paradise

On Saturday we ran in our designated pace groups for the first time. I really had a great time. Even though we were huffing some near the end, we did really well. We did come in five minutes faster than we were supposed to and that made our coach grimace. Next week we will have to slow it down a bit and maybe we won’t be huffing so much at the end.

Leading the group was easy since we were a small group (four women) that day. It was easy to communicate and everyone could hear me. An interesting thing happened though. Each of these ladies told me that I was a great pace group leader. I can not tell you how fantastic it felt to have people tell me that I did a good job.

It seems odd that positive reinforcement would be so shocking to anyone. I started wondering why it is so shocking to me. This prompted me to think about times in my life when someone made a point to tell me I had done something really well. The times that most readily come to mind are all when I was employed and/or acting. Kudos from strangers essentially or employers.
But now I am a mom and a house-(soon-to-be-ex-)wife and no kudos really ever come that way. I can’t imagine that I totally suck as a parent, or else wouldn’t social services be at my door? I’m just sayin’.

If you are a parent, when was the last time anyone told you that were doing anything really well?

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What am I running for, you ask? Well, I am training to run in a the AIDS Half Marathon in September.

We are raising money to help support AIDS Project Los Angeles. APLA provides much needed services to women, children and men living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles.

Want to sponsor me? Click here!

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And here we are. Politely going our separate ways. Where will you go? How will you get there? How long will we be able to stay here? What will we do now? Rise.

And so it begins. The bureaucracy of our end. Fill out the papers. What do you have? What do we have? What do I have? A child.

Yesterday was our third day of group training for the AIDS Half Marathon. We ran three miles and we were timed for our pace groups.

I ran a 13 minute mile and was elected leader for my pace group! Yay. Usually the person with the running watch gets the post, but none of us had a watch so then it goes to the one with the loudest mouth. Hi. Now I have to get a watch.

The 13 minute group is made up of all women so that is kind of nice right now. The run was sort of grueling and my stomach muscles felt like they were going to explode afterward but I felt great overall.

Want to sponsor me? Proceeds from my sponsorship go towards helping AIDS Project Los Angeles provide care for Women, Children and Men suffering with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County.

To help out just click here!

Have a great weekend!

There are moments as a parent that are small and seemingly insignificant and yet which probably shape who our children become. There are other moments that make all of the fatigue, frustration, anger and every other shitty feeling go away - for at least that moment. Sometimes these moments are one and the same.

That baby has a caretaker who, during the school year, comes in one day a week for a few hours to spend time with him while I get some stuff done. He calls her Pumpkin. He calls her partner ‘Nother Pumpkin. They are lesbians. They love him. He loves them.

That Baby: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
TB: Do Pumpkins hug?
Me: Yes, they do.
TB: Do they kiss them? (He is still grasping language)
Me: Each other?
TB: (Nods)
Me: Yes, they do. Did you see them kiss and hug today?
TB: Yes. Mommy, does Pumpkin love ‘Nother Pumpkin?
Me: Yes, she does.
TB: Oh. Can you play, mommy?

And that was it. Nothing more to add from either of us. And that will be how he views The Pumpkins. As two people who love each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

At that moment I realized that these are the small events that set the stage for how our children will view the world. These are the small moments when we choose to condemn or support, love or to hate. These are the moments when we communicate to our children who we are and what we believe. These are the moments that seem so small and yet really contribute in determining the path our children will walk.

The big lessons are important. Eat With Utensils. Don’t Dribble Your OJ. Yes, We Need to Wear Pants Today. Speak Using Words. Look At My Face When We Talk to Each Other. Clean Up After Yourself. These are basic, daily rules that make it easier to function in society.

But the lessons that pass in the blink of an eye are the tiny flecks of paint that build upon each other to create the mural of who our children grow up to Be.

So, after signing with a manager for That Baby over a year and a half ago, I finally heard from her yesterday for an audition to be held that afternoon. After my initial shock, I immediately remembered that just the other day I had decided to dissolve our contract with this woman and that I would take on his management responsibilities. Apparently, she read my mind. I confirmed that he would be at the audition.

This experience was very different from the first time I took him out to meet with an agent. He is older now and more socialized. The experience of meeting with new adults is not as shocking or new. He speaks very well and can follow directions, both of which are important skills, just generally.

Strangely enough the idea of going to an audition, be it mine or my son’s, gave me that giddy feeling that maybe, just maybe this would be the one. Those weird endorphines that gave me such a rush, back in the day, were coming back. It scared me, made me sad and also made me happy at the same time.

I gathered my senses and tried to redirect my mind to that of a stage mom with a slight leg up on the competition in as far as what this business demands. We must always know that it is a business and nothing personal. I immediately tried to distance myself from the personal. And remind myself that this is his audition.

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