What exactly constitutes a Feminist these days? I used to think I was a Feminist but after spending more and more time reading Feminist blogs I am starting to wonder. Apparently to be a Feminist you must shun marriage, childbirth and subsequently, staying home to raise your children. I am not to read a magazine, watch television or go the movies. And if I do participate in any of these things I should immediately be horrified and outraged at what I witness. The constant objectification of any woman represented there.

Good news! It looks like we are allowed to wear underwear again. Maybe all of that bra burning of the sixties only left us with saggy boobs and in hind-sight that wasn’t the goal? Just a thought. Vanity often prevails. On that note we can wear make-up as well.

I love to go to the mall and shop in stores with scantily clad mannequins that look nothing like a human woman. I don’t fit in most of the clothes because they are actually manufactured to fit only the mannequins. Sometimes I find something cute that makes my ass look hot! I enjoy reading magazines. Granted, it is usually a news magazine (unfortunately mostly written by men) and I still love Ms., but I have been known to subscribe to Vanity Fair and even *shhhhh* Cosmopolitan. Eeek. I have taken some of my most flattering make-up tips from Seventeen magazine. Double Eek!

But I do like to watch movies. I am actually an actor who would love to be in a big budget movie. I don’t believe in Playboy Bunnies, mostly because they all look the same, but I do believe in Jenna Jameson as an industry unto herself (I can hear the screams of derision from here). I always believe strongly in Gloria Steinem.

And I really love to watch prime-time television. Particularly the one hour shows that have female leads. Unfortunatley, these women have also been oppressed by the man and have to shoot vats of collagen into their lips, eyes, and cheeks in order to look younger and boost ratings, and ultimately to keep their jobs. I believe in these women though because I enjoy watching them act in these shows, not because they look like puffy little lolly-pop heads. This particular aspect makes me sad. I also believe in these women because I have a small idea of what it takes to make it doing what they do. The entertainment industry is a very difficult industry to be “successful” in for anyone who is not a white male or a bombshell with a whole 19 years of life under her belt (that is another entry). Sorry ladies, but until we are all given equal opportunities we will have to rely on our feminine assets as a last resort for another leg up. And if no mainstream feminist has done this, then all card-carrying feminists are amazing and I have already failed them.

I believe in women who have children. I also believe in women who can, and decide to, stay home to raise their children. I have said it before. Staying home from work to raise children is really hard. Going to work and raising children is really hard. The only reprieve here is that there is a break from the office at night, and a break from the children during the day. The women I know who work full-time and are mothers seem to struggle with spending as much time with their children as they can. Either way it is a daunting task and we all still work 24/7. We are raising human beings here people, and if anybody, ANYBODY, thinks that it is always the easy way out or somehow giving into the “machine” they are ignorant and deluded! *Ahem*

But apparently the choice to have children under any circumstance, no matter how responsible, is the non-feminist choice and I get the feeling, subsequently it must be the Right Wing choice. The Right will take those babies any way they can get them. They usually prefer them unplanned and unwanted. Alas, I despise the Right - no place for me there.

Oh, and I also got married. I know, I know. I must be under the thumb of a man. I gave in. I must have given up all of myself so that he would have me because no woman can possibly be in any type of relationship with a man and not give up who she is. Haven’t we come further than that? I am not naïve. I know that there remain scores and scores of people who believe those archaic roles of man and woman. I know that girls are still raised as and taught to be ‘less-than’ their brothers. I know that we as women continue to have mountains of injustice and unwarranted compromises to overcome. I know that moron mechanics still talk to my boobs and tell me that I need parts replaced on my car that I know are brand fucking new! However, there are actually some men who don’t assume that all women are just ignorant chattel and would never expect a woman to give up who she is or what she wants in order for them to share their time together.

I made all of these choices (apparently the wrong Feminist choices) not based on some patriarchal conditioning but based on what I want to do and what I enjoy and what I don’t want to do or don’t enjoy. So, again, where the fuck do I stand?

Isn’t feminism about being free to be a woman and a person? Should we just be able to make informed choices about our lives without the risk of ridicule or social judgement. I strongly believe in women being given the same opportunities as men. I do believe that we should raise our daughters, and our sons, to fight for freedom of choice and fairness in opportunities. I don’t believe that anyone should ever have to compromise who they are for any reason, ever.

I thought that fighting for and supporting those beliefs was what feminism was about.