I drove through the parking lot slowly in order to check out the line through the window of the post office before I parked. Considering that this would possibly be the third wasted trip to the post office in three days, I was not interested in hauling That Baby out of the car into this place only to stand in a horrendous line with a sweaty, squriming toddler, for who knows how long. As I noted that the line was weaving out the door the words “Ahh fuck” slid over my tongue, passed my teeth and flew out my lips straight to the ears of That Baby. Who responded with a rousing rendition of “AH PUCK! AH PUCK! AH PUCK! AH PUCK!….

As I banged my head on my steering wheel for being a negligent mother I made a mental note to a) stop banging my head on the steering wheel and b) never say that again in front of That Baby.

About a week later I was cleaning up around the house and collecting dishes and odd such things to be put away. When I got in the bathroom I dropped a glass on the tile and shards flew everywhere. Immediately I yelled “Ah fuck… (then whispered) aaahhh no - shit …” that last part was said because That Baby stood in the hallway of the bathroom saying “Ah puck!”

Now, I know that this is totally my fault. I have a pentiant for dropping the f-bomb. I used the word the entire time I was pregnant (you would too). I use it when telling a story to add some dimension to the tale. I use it, but don’t get me wrong. I am not a complete sailor in the language world. I use it as more of an exclamation. I am working very hard on eliminating the slips.

However, the damage has been done. A while ago someone dropped a glass on TV and That Baby said “Ah pfuck.”

On the bright side, he said it in context and almost has the p to f thing under control. He is collecting quite a vocabulary and is learning new words every day. However, he had been trying to say “light” for ten months but only said “baf”(?) and couldn’t figure out what to call me! His word for water is mama. For about a week he called Mr. Daddy Guy. As in “Hi Guy!”

Hmph!